My youngest son, Matt died on January 3rd from a drug overdose.  We had battled his addiction since high school when he started smoking weed.  Back in the 90″s Delaware had no programs for teens using drugs, so off we went to Newport News, VA.

I left him there for the allowable 28 days, God the insurance companies are so stupid to think 28 days will help with any recovery. 28 days is spitting in the ocean.  I’m a NICU nurse who has become self educated in the world of addiction.  Matt was clean for a  period of time after that first rehab, probably because he had no money and now had a mother who watched him like a hawk. Checking pupils and smelling clothes, tearing his room apart when he wasn’t home.  Little did I know this was just the start of the nightmare that would become life.

High school graduation finally came. I honestly don’t know who was happier Matt or me.  He was thrown out of St. Mark’s in his junior year for behavior that was unacceptable to their standards, so much for the Catholic forgiveness.  He finished at McKean and excelled in their automotive program.  I thought wow, this boy has finally found his niche.  I began to relax as he was accepted to Delaware Tech’s automotive program.  He worked selling auto parts during the day and went to classes at night.  I was working 12 hour shifts in the adult ICU.  He lived at home with me and life found a rhythm.  We had a different relationship than most, he was my friend, my go to guy as I was single during this time.  We were both so busy with our lives that all we had was each other.  Sharing coffee in the morning and spending free time walking our dogs through the woods. Life was good.  Matt was on his way to a productive life and I could stop being the drug police and just enjoy his company.

Years passed and Matt became an ace mechanic, making a great living.  He met Natalie, the girl I thought would become his wife.  Natalie moved into our house and we became a happy little family. The three muskateers.

Then as life evolves, changes come.  Matt and Natt as I called them were moving to the beach to start a business in Lewis.

My kids were going out on their own.  I was so proud of how far Matt had come from those dark days of addiction in high school.  I was foolish enough to think we beat those demons and life would remain as I needed it to be.