Matt,  your birthday is in 15 days.  You should be turning 49 but you will forever be 37.  Instead of planning your party, I’m planning an outreach in your honor to feed the homeless.  That was one lesson you taught me when you were alive.  You always cared about others especially those like you who suffered from substance use.  
You always told me stories of people you knew whose families gave up on them and didn’t care if they had food, shelter or clothing.  You considered yourself blessed that I could never not help you as you tried to battle your disease. 

When you first passed I was given a beautiful chain that held your fingerprint along with a bit of your ashes.  Inscribed on one side was a touch of Matt forever.  I remember the first time I held it. Tears running down my face. I ran my finger over your fingerprint.  It was surreal that this was all I had left of you, my beautiful boy. 
It made me think of all the lives you touched when you were here.  The people who wrote me letters telling how after they relapsed you sat with them all night encouraging them with your words letting them know that this was just a blip in the road and not the end of their journey.  You had such a big heart and cared so deeply for your friends.  I always wished you cared as much about yourself perhaps you would still be here.

So now my mission is to continue to have people feel your touch. 
By caring for and feeding those the world forgot.  You left a mark on my heart as I see you in every one of them.  A beautiful person with a horrible disease. 

As long as I live people will continue to be touched by your kindness and compassion as you remain in my heart until we meet again.  Love forever Mom.