Matt, tomorrow, July 30th will be your 44th birthday. Sadly you no longer live on earth, you were called to heaven seven birthdays ago. Today my mood changes like the waves of the ocean we both love so much.
One minute the wave is small and kind. A memory of you as a child will bring a smile to my soul. Allowing me to rise above the pain your loss has imprinted on my soul. Then, without warning the big one comes out of nowhere pulling me out into the grip of the undertows forcing me to fight for my breath as the reality of tomorrow plays havoc on my heart. ❤️
Tomorrow I will be where you were. I will walk on the beach we once walked on together. I will feel the ocean breeze on my cheek pretending it is a soft kiss from you. I will look out over the vastness of the sea wondering if you know I’m here. Wondering if Heaven really is a beach like we always hoped it would be. I will drive past your house and make sure she is being loved as she was when she belonged to you. I will allow the memories to come bringing both pain and pleasure as I remember the times we shared together in the house we both loved.
As night falls, I will search the sky for your sign. I will search for the brightest star blowing a kiss to the heavens hoping it touches your cheek. I will say a prayer that you are healthy and healed sharing your birthday with Jesus. I hope you will feel my love floating from earth to the heavens searching for you.
Oh my beautiful boy, you will never know how much you are missed. How much you are loved. How I would do anything to have you standing at the door with the pups at your feet as I park in your driveway. Grabbing your presents out of my car as you walk closer with those beautiful eyes and amazing smile. You wrap me in a hug as you try to peek in the bags. The dogs dancing at our feet as we walk together into our house by the sea.
I remember the picture I bought when you first moved in. It was a house on the sea and quoted “Heaven is a little closer in a house by the sea.” My precious boy how I pray you are in that house in heaven and the sea is your playground. Until we meet again I will always feel closer to you by the sea. ❤️
Happy birthday my beautiful boy🙏🏻